It doesn’t matter if the family is wealthy or poor, educated or not, religious or agnostic. In recent years, shoplifting and stealing had become a plague that affect many well functioning families. Many parents immediately feel that there is something wrong with their child and run to see a child psychologist. I certainly hope this article can help clear the misconception.
Dr. David Metzner says “No matter what their excuses may be, you should not tolerate your child’s shoplifting. You as a parent are going to hear a variety of justifications and you may be tempted to sympathize, but you must stand firm and understand that no matter what your child is saying to you, there really is no excuse for stealing, and that’s the bottom line.”
The value of the item has no bearing on the situation
Whether your child is stealing a candy bar from the local convenience store or a $200 dress from a shop in the mall, stealing is stealing and they are both equal in the eyes of the law. The value of the item can actually be put forward as part of the excuse itself, but this cannot be accepted on your part. In fact, if you hear that your child is stealing a candy bar from the store your automatic assumption should be that he has either already shoplifted something of more value or will continue on with the behavior and steal something more valuable next time.
Is it the peer pressure?
Many parents believe that the act of stealing or shoplifting is motivated bypeer pressure from their child’s friends. While this may be true, you must realize that this is no excuse for your child’s behaviour. There are many children out there who do not succumb to peer pressure, and refuse to steal.
Some children do find stealing to be a thrilling and exciting experience and perform the act for this reason. While many parents are blaming the media for glamorizing the act of shoplifting and not getting caught, this may not be the sole motivator for your child’s behaviour. The blame lies on the child himself for not staying true to his own personal integrity.
Moral ambiguity is no excuse
Any child can distinguish between right and wrong. When your child was two years old and dropped the cookie jar, the cookies spilled all over the floor and the dog started eating them, he knew he was doing something wrong. When you confronted the child at the time, even if his words were saying “I didn’t do it!” the child wasn’t looking in your eyes. He was looking down at the floor and shuffling his feet because he knew down deep the difference between good behavior and bad behavior. It is a natural instinctive gift that’s given to every child on this earth and nothing, not even TVs, video games or hard-core rap music can take that away.
Stealing within the family
Teens who shoplift may also go as far as stealing from family members in their own home. When their values become compromised, stealing from family members may not seem to be any more shockingthan stealing from other productive members of society.
Earning back your trust
The first thing that needs to be done when you are dealing with this kind of situation is to get your relationship back to the point where you can trust your child again. The best way to do this is by showing that you’re a strong individual and that severe consequences will be put into place if any more stealing should occur. The earlier you show your child that you are willing to follow through with the punishment, the easier it will be to deal with any stealing situations once your child becomesa teenager.
Yes, child psychologists and therapists can help with shoplifting addiction but it is parents’ responsibility to be strong and vigilant. After all, the consequences given should be based on your own decisions and not on those offered by external experts. You are going to have to live with yourself after you dole out these consequences so you’ll have to decide what they are on your own. It’s important to trust yourself as a parent and do what you think is best in order to guide your child towards an honest path in life.
