Parents often dread the first time they have to leave their child with a babysitter. And it’s not without reason! It’s sometimes difficult to take that first step out the door, as they never know how their child will react to the departure or the new babysitter. Once, I had to babysit two four year old twins while the parents went to enjoy a well-deserved date night. One twin dealt with the change magnificently well, calmly playing on the living room carpet. The other twin, however, had a terrible breakdown, immediately crying and panicking as soon as the parents walked out the door. It wasn’t the best start to my babysitting night and I ended up having to sit by the door all evening with the little boy on my lap until the parents returned, but it worked out.
However, while there is no sure-fire way to avoid such situations, I have found that there are a number of simple steps a parent and babysitter can take in order to make the transition easier for all involved!
Step 1: Make sure your child knows and understands in advance
This may seem obvious and straightforward, but it’s happened to me on occasion where the child had no clue the parent was leaving for a few hours. This can make the transition much more complicated, as the child is in no way mentally prepared for the babysitter. Informing your child that you are going to be away for a couple hours is essential, especially when you are going to leave them with a new babysitter! However, this step is still important even if you’ve had the same babysitter for years on end. Knowing in advance helps your children feel in control once the sitter shows up.
Step 2: Plan a meeting before the first babysitting job
Arrange for the meeting to take place at a café, or some other easy to find location and bring your children with you. While scheduling a meeting with a babysitter can sometimes seem tricky to plan, any good babysitter will know that if the parents want to meet them face-to-face, then going through with it is imperative. Let the new babysitter interact with your children freely and simply watch how it goes. Your presence will help your children feel more at ease with the carer, and this short observation will also help you feel more comfortable, as you’ll be able to determine how the babysitter will act with your children. If the connection appears to be going well, maybe leave the table for a few minutes to get a coffee at the counter or to stop by the loo.
Step 3: Talk to your child about how they feel
Listening to your child is vital. It will allow you to understand what they are worried about or uncomfortable with. Of course, if they’ve already met the sitter during a previous meeting, ask them about what they thought of the carer. Did they like the babysitter, did they get along with them, did they feel comfortable? And what did they not like? These questions are important. Knowing about certain issues your child may have will allow you to then put some of their worries to rest. The fewer worries or issues they have with the babysitter, the easier and smoother the transition will be.
Step 4: Be clear about what authority the babysitter has
Such a step is valid both for the babysitter and for the child. The babysitter may not think to ask how your child should be disciplined if, for example, they refuse to eat their broccoli and may either be too strict or too lenient. And your child may attempt to abuse the carer’s uncertainty. This could make for a very bumpy transition if not done carefully. Once a child or babysitter goes too far (or not far enough), it can negatively impact all future interactions. Thus, having all involved parties know how much authority the babysitter has is crucial! It’s understandable if you don’t feel comfortable with the sitter disciplining your child in the exact same way you do. Nonetheless, find a form of discipline you are open too, because a sitter needs to be able to show your child their authority in order to do the job right!
Step 5: Clue the babysitter in to the small ‘need-to-knows’
A fairly simple step that can really make a big difference for a new babysitter. As a parent you know all about your child’s odd habits or rituals. But the babysitter is completely clueless at first. So, your youngest one needs to sit facing the fridge at the kitchen table: tell the babysitter to avoid sitting in that seat. The oldest child will demand to have an orange in bed with them before they finally go to sleep: show the carer where to find the oranges. Or any other such quirks your child might have. The babysitter can then appear to already know most of the dos-and-don’ts of the house. It will provide the sitter with a very useful edge and help them make a great impression with the children.
These steps can’t guarantee a perfect transition to a first or new babysitter, but simply enacting one of these steps could make the whole process a fraction easier. And even a fraction can make a huge difference in the long run.
Written by Sonia Juillet, in collaboration with Babysits, the Babysitting community in Australia. We help parents connect with local babysitters.
