So you’ve found out you’re pregnant with your first child and have announced it to the world. My ‘advice’ (pun intended) is to brace yourself for a barrage of (helpful and unhelpful) advice coming your way for the next nine months. It’s a very confusing time for the woman who is pregnant with her first child – not only are you battling with morning sickness, hormones and changes to your body, you also have to deal with everyone giving you advice or even generally telling you what you should or shouldn’t eat. For example, a colleague told me I should avoid eating nuts because the baby may get a nut allergy (she didn’t have any children herself).
In my first trimester a little blood came up while I was retching. The advice I got from two of my friends was; “I don’t really remember if it happened to me when I was pregnant, maybe it’s not that serious,” and “Oh my God, that sounds serious, please go straight to emergency!” What did I do? I looked it up on Google and then immediately went to my GP (I did not have any other symptoms such as stomach pains or bleeding and felt fine otherwise). It turned out there was a slight tearing of my gut muscles due to violent retching bringing up blood when I vomited.
So how do you handle the torrent of advice from friends, the internet and family?
- Remember every pregnancy is different – so do listen to the advice you get but do your own research using credible sources on the Internet like medical sites, baby sites with expert opinions, or chat with your doctor and/or midwife when you have an appointment-if it’s not urgent. You can compare what you have read with what the medical staff tells you, which deepens your understanding. I used to write up a list of questions before every appointment so I wouldn’t forget to ask. My experience has been to always seek medical advice when in doubt.
- Read and research – sign up to baby newsletters from sites such as BabyCenter Australia which take you through your pregnancy week by week. I was fascinated with the pictures and facts about my baby’s development and loved to talk with my husband on what was happening inside my womb each week. The newsletters were a good source of information and helped us feel more connected to bub. The forums were very useful too as I could read up on what issues new and expectant parents were facing.
- Sift through for the gems – Every so often, a friend or a relative passed on a gold nugget of information. One came through my sister’s manager’s nanny – a tried and tested baby book and information on swaddling baby (no need to use a traditional wrap, just buy a zip up which worked a treat with bub). To reduce morning sickness, a friend of mine advised eating a banana first thing in the morning – it did help me feel less sick. So listen out for the useful advice among all the information flying at you.
- Don’t get overwhelmed – It’s very easy to feel panicked and helpless on what is the right thing to do or follow while you’re pregnant because everything is new. The best thing to do is deal with one thing at a time – so if you’re not sure what you should be eating for example, compare just one or two eating plans for pregnant women instead of visiting site after site. I promise you will become a pro at sifting through the information eventually.
- Read just one or two baby books – This is important to stop you from feeling absolutely confused. Think first about how you would like to raise your bub and look for books that share your values. I believe in common sense, low fuss parenting so I chose to go with a book that was recommended. I read it thoroughly at least four times while pregnant and wrote notes to help make reference easier. The book made sense to me so I chose not to read anything else.
As with anything new, find a system that you understand and stick to it after the baby arrives, it will help you handle new parenthood and the constant (sometimes unwanted) advice that people are more than willing to share with you. Remember if what you’re doing is working for you and your bundle of joy – that’s all that matters.
