A new baby can feel as fragile as glass even to its parents. We can often feel intimidated in the hospital that nurses can handle our baby with much more confidence than we feel ourselves. Simply trying to put a small arm through a singlet hole can feel like threading a delicate piece of cotton through a needle!
So many ‘what ifs’ can run through our mind. ‘What if I forget I have a baby?’ ‘What if the bath water is too hot?’ ‘What if I’m doing something wrong?’ ‘What if I don’t feed it enough, too much, not the right way..??!’
It is true that parenting doesn’t come naturally to some people, but it is also true that babies are more resilient than we imagine. Just the fact that it is terrifying to us is a good start. It indicates that we want to be the best carer we can for this new life. Understanding that there will be an adjustment period is the first step.
Get out, get active
If you feel yourself becoming stressed, anxious, over tired or overwhelmed, take a walk. One of the most important pieces of equipment any new parent can have is a quality pram or stroller. Single and twin prams in Australia have cutting edge designs which enhance the experience for both baby and parent; making exercise an enjoyable and often bonding experience.
Walking has been shown to lower anxiety and stress levels. For those suffering Postnatal Depression (PND), exercise can be a strategy to raise serotonin levels and improve the mood. Consider purchasing a cheap step counter and aim for 10,000 steps per day.
Relationship
When it comes to the birth of a new baby and the dramatic effect they can have on the lives of their parents, one topic is rarely discussed, the role of the father. Around five percent of fathers develop postnatal depression and it is often difficult for them to seek help. Many more feel they have been relegated to mere money generators, now superfluous to their partner’s needs.
Admitting that they feel neglected, ignored or resentful due to a new baby can be difficult and feel petty, so many dads keep these feelings to themselves.
Literally overnight, unsuspecting men may find themselves unceremoniously cast to one side as their partners natural instincts kick in and the newborn becomes the mothers new focus of love, adoration and attention.
Many first time fathers are at first bewildered by this phenomenon and then resentful. It can be a very confusing time as most feel a strong love for their infant but feel excluded from their partners affections and it can be a difficult period of adjustment.
Simply knowing that their feelings are valid and natural can be a great relief for first time dads. It can also be a comfort to understand why this shift in their partners affections has occurred and that it only temporary.
Instinct and survival – understanding the maternal instinct
The early days in a romance, the days before babies and money worries, can feel like there are only two of you in the world. The introduction of a baby into that close knit relationship, in theory, should be icing on an already beautiful cake.
Unfortunately, Mother Nature has created many women with a mothering instinct which overrides every other drive. This adaption is a necessary evolution to enable the survival of the human race.
According to IFLScience, the birth of a newborn changes a mother’s brain for two years. This maternal instinct is a crucial response which ensures that the infant is nurtured and protected during their most vulnerable stage of life.
Every life change, be it moving home, changing careers or the birth of a new baby, will require a period of adjustment. By preparing yourself and your relationship ahead of time, you can future proof it, to weather the coming upheaval – coming out stronger and happier at the other end.
