This is Kathryn Sprigg. Read below for her advice.
I wanted to write about life in your 30’s, after recently reading some articles surrounding the same topic. I have found them entertaining (slightly outdated due to strong themes from 1918), confronting (I skim read those), ridiculous (because they highlighted negative traits in me that seemed factual), and in some cases – articles that were so dull, I fell asleep and woke up two days later.
Everyone has talent, and the best part about sharing life experience is that it helps us find the courage to follow wherever that talent leads.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you’re travelling, don’t waste time being paranoid that your bag might get stolen. Just remember it isn’t the end of the world, because it will probably never happen. Or it could. (Hypothetically) your passport could be given to another passenger by airport staff, stripping you of your personal identity 20 minutes before boarding your international flight in a foreign country. Or better still, you could leave your carry-on by itself near the baggage carousel – creating enough suspicion to close down an entire international terminal, with the story airing on the 6 o’clock news, which is much, much worse. Apparently.
Write drunk, edit sober. While it’s easy to remain completely level headed about a break up during sobriety, just know that if you start drinking by 4pm, approximately four hours later you will have convinced yourself that your comments on social media will be more profound than Barack Obama during his first victory speech. It’s a mistake we’ve all made; so the only way to feel better is to google Mel Gibson, Alec Baldwin or Russell Crowe.
Don’t air your dirty laundry online, or react to a badly written status update from someone in a velour Everlast tracksuit. Take the high road, and never underestimate the power of silence.*
*on social networking that is. Internally you don’t have to be the bigger person. Inside your head you can swing from a multi-coloured trapeze while listening to Stevie Wonder, wearing a large feathered headpiece from Sass and Bide, poking out your tongue because you’re much funnier.
“Plenty more fish in the sea” is really just code for “the male to female ratio is equal, but by the looks of things lots of those fish will probably be crap.”
I’m fairly sure single people don’t pull married folk aside and gently say, “You’re so lucky we have Twitter and Instagram now, it makes it so much easier to catch married men out these days.” To bad pep talks, KS says no.
By the time you’ve hit 30, you should have enough material to write a book. Self-help doesn’t count, because unless you’re exceptionally funny, you’ll just look like a Scientologist. Some milestones may include being arrested, having a dance off in public (and winning), and with the help of an autographed Bert Newton framed photograph, never having to cue at any Melbourne nightclub.
You should have a house party you can one day tell your children about. You should also have had a house party you can’t tell your kids about, because then you’ll have more empathy when they mess up and 300 people turn up for an Australia Day party when they only invited 50 (again, these are just hypotheticals).
Find a good doctor. Then find an equally capable naturopath or acupuncturist, or you’ll be sorely disappointed when you realise your GP can pronounce cancer, but they don’t have any idea how to cure it. See at least one shrink, and invest in a personal trainer, even if it’s only for six months.
Only settle for a job you truly love. I chose my job because I love photography, and I also chose to pretend there’s no such thing as Plan B.
Don’t go to events you have no interest in. That’s not growth, it’s fear of missing out. Lindsay Lohan is testament to this mantra. She clearly doesn’t enjoy court, which is why she can often be found on The Late Show or under a table in a Cannes nightclub on the day of her hearings.
When people are rude, it’s because they’re having a bad day/month/life. Politeness always wins over. Sometimes though, you’re having a testing time too, so take a deep and relaxing breath, and then call them a cunt.
If you are hung over, it doesn’t mean you’re acting irresponsibly for your age. Well, it most likely does, but it also means you’ve still got great stories to tell. Sure, water and bananas will help, but they won’t give you as much joy as running into your equally hung over friend, whose four kids have just pointed out that she may have left her phone at home because she just tried to make a call with a desk calculator.
Tell people exactly what they mean to you. Even if they already know.
Be a Mentor, and have Mentors.
Self acceptance is not something I have the answer to. I just don’t think about the things I want to change anymore, and it’s something I plan to relish. That is until I’m 40, and I’ll be all over plastic surgery quicker than you can say, “If I wanted to express joy, I’d write an entertaining status.”
Life is hard. Despite this, the choice to be happy is simple.
