As social animals, we not only rely on our social connections to lead a happy and fulfilling life but not developing good relations with the people around us goes against our design. Too many people are focused on developing social bonds and growing their network because they want something out of the people that they come in contact with. Whereas in reality, things are quite the opposite. If we have good relations with the people around us they will go out of their way to help us. When we develop relations for vested interest, it shows, and it doesn’t feel too good to know that you are only a means to an end for someone.
However, not everyone is naturally adept at creating, sustaining, and developing relationships, even if they have no vested interest. Moreover, even people who find it easy to start an interaction may have difficulty in developing the relationship further. Whether it is our family relationships, professional relationships, or casual friendships, there are a few principles that can apply to any kind of relationship to improve things and get the connection to be meaningful and fruitful for both people. Here are some ways through which you can improve the quality of your social bonds.
1. Communication
This is definitely something you have heard before but recent times require this subject to be visited again. Things have changed since the pandemic. On one hand, you have people who barely saw each other spending all day, every day together. On the other hand, people with who you interacted regularly are now distant and you might be completely isolated. Whether you are looking to manage over-interaction or a lack of interaction, communicating efficiently is the only way you can resolve the problem. This helps you clear out ideas in your mind and also clarifies things for the other person so that both of you are on the same page. Communicate even the smallest of ideas, the slightest smile, and the smallest of compliments can go a long way in deepening a bond.
2. Stand Your Ground
Too many times we are easily distracted from our own thoughts and beliefs due to the behavior of another person. Since we don’t want to hurt them or seem socially awkward we go with the flow, often forgetting our own stance. Sometimes the circumstances don’t support us and we are faced with the right person wrong time dilemma that we have little control over. In such circumstances, it is easy to be overcome by emotion but it’s critical to stand your ground and think of things objectively. In such situations, you aren’t fighting the other person, but it is yourself that you need to win over.
3. Being Adaptable
While standing your ground is good, it shouldn’t be to the degree that you are rigid and not willing to change. Moreover, you also need to be able to recognize whether the other person is showing any signs of adaptability or they are the kind of person who only wants things done their way. A healthy relationship is a two-way street, and if you are being empathetic the other person also needs to replicate this. Being stubborn in your ways makes it impossible for the relationship to grow and develop to a deeper level.
4. Manage Differences
Sometimes we are shy to voice our true feelings and emotions because we don’t want to hurt the other person, but in doing so we are hurting ourselves and worsening the situation. While this doesn’t mean that you start an argument, it does mean that you need to discuss differences in a civil way, in a way in which you can actually get your thoughts across to the other person and see a change in the relationship.
5. Me-time
Even while playing a role in many different relationships in life we need time to ourselves. As a friend, a partner, a colleague, and the many other roles you are playing, you need time to spend with yourself and to nourish your relationship with the person you have that internal dialogue with. Pick up a hobby, go for a walk, work on yourself, do something where you get a closer look at yourself.
There is a lot that goes into managing a healthy relationship, even one with yourself. It’s very important to take a balanced approach and to manage this connection from various angles as many relationship problems don’t arise because the people are incompatible but because they aren’t managing the connection properly. Even a connection with your ‘soul mate’ won’t last very long if you don’t give it the attention and the work that it needs. Things change, times change and people change with time and circumstances, to keep the relationship alive through all these situations you need to manage things accordingly.
