The early years of our lives are spent in a near-constant state of not being old enough. At four years old we aren’t old enough to go to school with our siblings. At five years old we can go to school, but still aren’t allowed to ride in the front seat of the car. At six, we can be trusted to remember to grab our lunch but not to choose what it is. At seven we don’t need our parents to stay for the whole swimming lesson, but we still need help using the hairdryer when we get home.
By the time the night before our tenth birthday rolls around, we are jumping for joy at the prospect of turning ten and having lived the same amount of years as the fingers on our hands. The excitement of all the things we will be able to do as ten year olds is almost overwhelming. So overwhelming in fact that we begin to imagine the joys of being 11, 12, 13, and 14…our imaginations carry us right up to age 18 when surely we’ll be old enough to do everything, right?
Well, for the most part, yes. At age 18 we can drink alcohol, get our drivers license, earn a living and cast votes from our place on the electoral role. It’s a big year for Aussie teenagers and for most, saying goodbye to the ‘not-old-enough’ sign that’s been hanging around all their lives is a big highlight. But alas! This is the moment when fresh, naïve 18 year-olds receive an unpleasant surprise. While being 18 allows us the responsibilities and freedoms we longed for each year of our childhood – it also robs us of the right to use the ‘I’m not old enough’ excuse.
From age 18, not being old enough changes from being the worst thing in the world to one of the more attractive parts of our everyday lives. It’s said that in relationships, separation makes the heart grow stronger and it’s really no different in this case. When we heard the words ‘not old enough’ every day, we hated them, but now that they rarely apply to us, we squeeze them out of our mouths at every opportunity we get. Whether or not it works however, as always, rest on those older than us. Albeit our parents continuing their role from our younger years or co-workers and friends, the verdict when we are older is no more likely to bring us joy than the one we heard as children.
This is because, in most cases, at age 18, you are most definitely old enough.
As such, most 18 year olds tend to spend a lot of time traipsing their minds that are completely devoid of excuses for – you guessed it – an excuse. Suddenly the world seems full of things we don’t want to do but are suddenly old enough for. Taking the dog to the vet, driving our sister to the shopping centre, picking up milk on the way home, arranging for our car to be serviced…the list is huge. At 17 we wouldn’t have had to do any of this because at that age we weren’t old enough to drive or to be considered by the general public as an adult. Then one day, we turn 18 and our lives change forever.
Now, aged 20, I understand that I don’t really have an excuse for not participating in or doing things that social norms dictate I’m old enough to do. The difference between now and when I was 18 (and perpetually wriggling out of everything I could) is that sometimes I don’t feel old enough despite others telling me that I am. At 18 I was still filled with a confidence that I could take on the world and conquer all of the new responsibilities flooding in after the ‘not old enough’ sign fell down. Most of my new responsibilities at 18 were quite trivial though. Driving to the shops, buying my own school books for the first time, participating in more serious conversations with my parents – you get the drift. None of them were really that important in the scheme of things.
Now, having gotten a job in the industry of my dreams, I am facing plenty of new challenges that most certainly matter. These are things like facing conversations about politics when I know nothing about them, having real deadlines, and perhaps most important of all, knowing that others are completely, 100% totally relying on me. It doesn’t matter that my hormones scream out that they aren’t ready for this; it doesn’t matter that I don’t know what I am doing. Straight away my brain hands me an envelope with the ‘you’re not old enough’ card in it and urges me to use it. That’s another difference between 18 and 20 – putting that card on the table suddenly isn’t so cute anymore.
We are all going to reach a time in our lives when we come to the groundbreaking realisation that we are simply ‘old enough’ for everything, by society’s standards, all the time. This moment happened to me this year while I was sitting in a business meeting talking about politics, but it can happen at any time and at any age. I now understand that the world doesn’t completely open itself up to 18 year olds and that we all face new responsibilities and tasks each year that we grow older. I also understand that while others might deem us old enough there is always the chance that we won’t feel that way ourselves.
2011 has taught me that it’s ok not to feel old enough for whatever hurdle lies in our future. Just like the first time we were allowed to make our own lunch or go to the shopping centre solo, we are bound to feel nervous or make mistakes and that is totally, 100% allowed. One advantage of being perpetually ‘old enough’ is that you are allowed to make mistakes. Hell, at some point you’ll be able to bring out the ‘I’m too old’ card and revisit the joy of responsibility free life. For now, just go with it. There’s always going to be challenges and there’s always going to be a ‘not old enough’ card jumping around in your thoughts. If you don’t ignore it now you’ll be ‘too old’ before you get the chance to prove it wrong.
Image credit: Dan Beirouty
