So, Fiancé has a new and exciting job in the country. The proper country. The place where you have to get your tyres and oil checked before going there, because otherwise John Jarrett comes along and murders you. It’s a fact, everyone.
Anyways, Fiancé is there now, and I’m there this Friday. It’s going to be a HUGE change for me. Primarily because I’ve only ever lived in Brisbane. Ever. When told of his appointment, we thought that if we’re going to move to the country (anything out of Brisbane, unless it’s the coast, I consider to be ‘country’), we may as well go ‘country’ country. A change is as good as a holiday, as they say.
Before I begin, let me just emphasise; I am not precious. I can camp; I can go GHD-free for a whole week, but me and this tree-change? Well. Hmmm. I’m not the hugest fan of dust, or flies, or mosquitoes. I’m terrified of horses. I don’t enjoy country music. And, I can already tell from my first visit, last weekend, that it’s going to be interesting.
Here’s what I experienced during my country initiation…
- I was called ‘mate’, by a man. And this is after I had tended to my beard.
- I saw three akubra hats within 5 minutes.
- I walked exactly one-hun-dred-miles to collect the mail. I also sang that song, as I paced, to entertain myself.
- I have talked a lot about the weather. Most sentences involved swear words.
- I have listened to a shed door slam.
- I have seen the ramp where cows walk, to go to a better farm. Yes. That’s where they’re off to. Another fact.
- I’ve taken Instagram photos (I’m not giving everything up) with flies on my face. And I didn’t swat them. Because I’m country.
- One night I had a barely-warm shower. The next night, due to no hot water, I boiled water and poured it over me. The next night we found the hot water switch.
- I have pruned, and not from being in the bath too long. This is actual garden pruning.
- I have learnt how to turn the taps on without making the whole house shudder. I only remember this one out of every ten times though.
- I have learnt that bore water is not drinking water; therefore I must shut my mouth in the shower. Fiancé enjoys such.
- I have learnt not to use my usual 50 sheets of toilet paper during each visit, because they will get stuck in the toilet, and then I will have to go fishing for them, with the toilet brush, and pull them out, and this is not fun at all.
- I’ve learnt about the importance of shutting screen doors. Before this; it was reasonable to assume that we were starting a mosquito farm.
- I’ve learnt how to wave at other people in the country. It involves one finger, and not my usual one.
- I’ve listened and sung along to ‘Way out West’.
- I’ve woken to “bloody birds”.
- I’ve danced in our house to music up so very, very loud, and was not yelled at by the neighbours to stop the offensive dancing.
- I have stepped on sharp things around the property and not worried that they were syringes. Most likely prickles. Or barbed wire. A big relief.
- I have opened the door to a stranger who was not John Jarrett.
- I have watched my dog Molly wag her tail on the deck as she drifted off to sleep.
- I have watched Fiancé chop wood. He was totally hot whilst doing it; wiped away sweat from his brow, and smelled of man. Previously we would have achieved same by eating Indian takeaway.
And lastly, after writing and reflecting on all of this, I’ve realised that the country may be my little piece of heaven.
Watch this space…
Image credit: Sandi Sieger
