Guest post by Adele Maree, Founder of ReachABLE.
Quite often on the family totem-pole we fall somewhere right near the very bottom. As mother’s we put everyone else’s needs ahead of ours. We make sure to cram the day so full of everyone else, leaving no time for ourselves. In the pursuit of being selfless, we tell ourselves that we don’t have time to exercise. We don’t allow ourselves to stop and breathe. We mindlessly shove food in our face as we rush to the next appointment. We don’t get enough sleep – or good sleep. Being ‘selfless’ is simply setting ourselves up for emotional and physical exhaustion.
There’s a good reason that on planes we need to put our oxygen masks on first before helping our children. When our tanks are empty, we have nothing left to give, we start to snap at our children, we get angry at the traffic lights, we take it out on the person on the phone. And to make it even worse, we instantly regret our actions and beat ourselves up for not being the best versions of ourselves sometimes for hours or days.
That’s where self-care saved me.
By caring for ourselves, we not only become happier and healthier, those positive emotions extend to those around us. Taking a short timeout for ourselves on a daily basis isn’t as a luxury, it’s a necessity. 
Still not sold? Let’s take a closeup look at two mothers.
First there’s ‘selfless’ mum. Rolling out of bed, with her children tugging at her to get breakfast ready, she feeds them, dresses them, prepares lunches, packs bags, yells, “brush your teeth, hurry up and get in the car – we’re late.” She rushes them to school, realising she left her ‘breakfast’ (coffee) on the bench. She is annoyed about her coffee and preoccupied while driving. Dropping the kids off she sits for a moment in the carpark, exhausted – and its only nine am. She decides it’s now too late for the gym (and she doesn’t have the energy anyway) and is upset at herself for the rest of the day about it.
Then there’s ‘selfish’ mum, who intentionally wakes up an hour earlier than her kids, she spends the first five minutes of her day laying in bed doing nothing, nothing but breathing. She jumps out of bed, washes her face, gets into her workout gear and starts her morning Pilates routine. After Pilates she takes five minutes to sit outside, alone, to mindfully drink her morning smoothie (the one she prepared all the ingredients for the night before). She jumps in the shower, takes a moment to appreciate the water falling on her skin, brushes her clean hair and gets dressed for the day. She has had her time, is calm and in control and ready to take on whatever may come.
Mornings set the tone for YOUR day, what tone would you like to set?
