It’s almost like magic, the way the crowd parts and the sun seems to fall exactly where she is standing. Her smile lights up the room, her eyes sparkle when she laughs; the world seems to move in slow motion. As you swallow hard, getting up the courage to walk over and ask her out, you stop in you tracks: payday isn’t for another week. You turn around to leave, dejected, while the guy standing behind you marches over to say hello. He takes her out, they get married, and live happily ever after. The End.
This might be how it seems to play out on the big screen, but for Mister and Miss Average, it is never as easy. Mr-Payday-Next-Week can get the girl (or vice versa) – it just takes a bit of originality, creativity and courage. With Valentines Day just around the corner, now is the perfect time for cupids’ arrow to strike both singles and couples and produce many happily ever afters. Fine wine and expensive dining may be the way to impress in the movies, but the way to this girls heart takes a little bit more imagination and a little bit less platinum card.
Traditionally (or stereotypically, take your pick) boy meets girl and asks her out, there is a period of courtship involving dinners, movies, meeting the parents and friends and after a significant period of time has passed, there is a wedding, a house and a baby. Quite generally, this is still pretty much how is goes – except the dinners and movies quickly descend into nights on the couch with a DVD, the parents and friends are places to go to for dinner when you can’t afford to make your own and weddings, houses and babies all come about in a different order. There is no right or wrong way, but I am here to tell you that there is still no excuse to introduce tracksuit pants 5 minutes into the relationship – romance isn’t dead, just yet. Let your creative streak take over and you can find a myriad of things to do on date night that don’t involve gym clothes or relatives.
One of the biggest hurdles to asking out the object of your desire is funds. Dinner, wine and a movie add up quickly and if you haven’t found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with; being single (or playing the field) can be expensive. In the past, it was expected that the man would pay for the date but in 2010, this is sometimes considered old fashioned or outdated. Personally I think that for a first date, tradition is best (second and subsequent dates you are welcome to split bills, go Dutch, or argue about it ‘til the cows come home) but everyone has differing opinions on this.
The dilemma here though is singles or couples who struggle with their dollars but still want to treat their beloved to a memorable night, something they will tell their friends about and that will hopefully encourage them to want to spend more time together. They say the best things in life are free – I believe that, quite possibly, is true.
A picnic in the park with a sunset and a blanket won’t cost you a cent; cordial in wine glasses is cute and thoughtful, picking a flower will melt her heart. A walk on the beach is romantic; fish and chips on the sand is pretty adorable, and finding a seashell as beautiful as she is? Priceless. So many ways to impress, so little time to do it. Further down the expense list you will find cooking at home to be a clear winner, free exhibitions at the national gallery with coffee will show her a culture minded man, and a city circle tram trip tops the original and quirky.
You might think that these ideas won’t rate with your girl – that ladies like to be showered in gifts, taken to the fanciest restaurants and offered the finest French champagne. I can’t tell a lie – sometimes we do like that, but, not at the expense of a lack of originality or fun. Who wants to sit in a stuffy restaurant where you are both uncomfortable and not being yourself?
Let your personality shine though when planning a date. Visit markets and exhibitions and really get to know the person you are with. I love a good movie as much as the next person but how can you talk to someone you are getting to know when the person behind is shhhushing you? One of the best dates I have ever been on was at the Zoo twilight jazz sessions, where we had a picnic of cheese and crackers, a bottle of wine and a blanket. Dating is meant to be fun and exciting, not a competition as to how much money you can spend to impress. Open your mind, not your wallet, and you will be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Image credits: Kathryn Sprigg
