It’s well into summer and the wine snobs are out. Sticking their noses and sniffing your wine glass, putting on pretentious accents to order and looking down on you when you bring out your goon sacks. (Alright, well maybe the last one is deserved.)
There are two ways to deal with people like this. Murder the pronunciation of every wine you order (MerloT, pinoT grIGIo etc) and watch them die a little inside, or beat them at the own game by arming yourself with the inside phrases and expert knowledge – even if you don’t know exactly what you’re saying.
If you chose the second option, you’re in luck. Hidden along busy St Kilda Rd, Stoneleigh Metro Pop Up offers a cool, leafy refuge that offers education, entertainment and much more. Stepping in is like being instantly transported to New Zealand, and the delicious wine and food offerings are delightful enough to make you feel like you really are on holiday too.
Designed to allow visitors a taste of what Stoneleigh has to offer, there are a variety of wine tasting options and packages. Choose from the Stoneleigh Marlborough Tasting (four premium wines, $10), the Stoneleigh Marlborough Rapaura Tasting (three super premium wines, $12) and finally, the deluxe tasting – one premium and three super premium with matching canapés for $20. All are perfect for Sunday sessions with a difference, after work drinks or drinks before dinner.
The deluxe package gets my vote. Four wines with expertly match canapés – and the lingo to finally put those wine snobs to shame. Combinations of fresh and smoked salmon highlight the tropical and exotic notes of the delicious Savignon Blanc, while the far-too-easy to drink poached pear fragrant Pinot Gris is paired with the perfectly balanced sweet/salty mix of goats cheese and roasted capsicum. The surprising pairing of ham and orange (great to eat, not so great to eat daintily/without making a mess) sums up Stoneleigh Marlborough’s Chardonnay to a tee – it’s oaky flavour making it a little softer than traditional chardonnay’s and much more pleasant. The only red in the mix, the Rapara Pinot Noir, is also delightfully light and finds perfect earthy companions in the beef fillet and asparagus canapé.
Feeling full and slightly tipsy (with wines so delicious, who wants them to go to waste!?) I ask our wonderful host for his advice on how best to at least fool people into thinking you’re a seasoned wine connoisseur. Here are his three top tips and phrases.
- Swirling your wine around a glass doesn’t just look fancy – it has a job too. Getting it on the sides of the glass is the first step to accurately smelling the notes and flavours, an important basis to unleash your expert lingo.
- “From the oak” – this can be your go-to, as generally most wines will have spent some time in an oak barrel. Use it to describe wines that are particularly rich and oaky. We used this one to describe the Chardonnay.
- “From the forest floor” – only the plebs say “earthy”. Using this phrase will make you sound immediately superior. Don’t forget to soak in the moment when everyone agrees with you, then adopt is as their own.
With those up your sleeve, it’s time to show off. We recommend taking as many different groups of friends and family to the pop-up to impress the maximum number of people. Alternatively take your closest wine snob their to put him to the test – we guarantee Stoneleigh’s delicious drinks and canapés will impress even the proudest wine (and foodie!) snobs.
Stoneleigh Metro Pop Up
Until 28th February 2015
For opening times and bookings, visit http://www.stoneleigh.co.nz/metro/
