Hey babe, what’s on the menu tonight?
How about a little Me-n-U?
Ah, the pick-up line. Does it bring back memories? That time you were at the bar and Casanova approached… Or when you were on the dance floor, music blaring, and that suggestion hit your ear, smooth as a gravy sandwich.
Your reaction probably varied from an eye-roll to a chuckle. Perhaps you smiled – or choked on your drink, depending on the timing.
Pick-up lines have the dubious reputation for being both an icebreaker and a deal breaker. So how is it some work and others don’t? And if these lines aren’t the answer, what is the best way to release all that flirtatious energy?
Dating and life coach, Sandy Ewing, says ‘pick-up lines’ are just a label for that opening comment or interaction. There are a variety of other ways to send out flirting signals, and everyone is different in what they’re comfortable with.
“It is a good idea to have your own flirting style that suits your personality,” Ms Ewing says.
“It is important to note that most of us have a natural flirting style and when we are comfortable with who we are, we will automatically send a flirting signal if we like someone – in an appropriate scenario of course.”
Another tactic Ms Ewing promotes is to pick a few flirting gestures to make your own and then practice them.
“A more subtle signal might be to smooth your hair back when you spot an attractive [person] across the room, smile softly and then look away.”
For those who love a good pick-up line, there are a few things to keep in mind. And no, I’m not talking about which theme of pick-up line to go with: Harry Potter or Game of Thrones?
Sadly, both themes do exist.
“[Pick-up lines] need to be sincere or really witty and used with an air of confidence if they are to work well,” Ms Ewing says.
In her experience as a dating and life coach, Ms Ewing says male clients often ask for a list of good lines. Her response is that such interactions should be used for the purpose of making the recipient smile or laugh.
“A question that will encourage a ‘yes’ response as well as a laugh is also good. For example, ‘This may come across as being smooth, but you really are gorgeous. Would you care for a drink?’”
In terms of basic behavioural advice for flirting, Ms Ewing recommends the following:
- Be playful.
- Focus on the recipient of your flirtations rather than yourself (nerves can affect your signals).
- If you are nervous, use it.
“Nervousness can get in the way of being perceived as authentic,” Ms Ewing says.
“However, if you use your nervousness as a coy and more deliberate flirting signal, you will make the recipient melt.
“Blushing is like a compliment, if you think about it. You have to have a connection with something to blush in their presence.”
Last of all, remember: Dating is a numbers game.
So can I get your number?
