There’s no denying finding love post 2020 looks different to any other period of time thanks to COVID-19, but do our relationships look different, too?
New eharmony research reveals that nearly half of Aussies (45%) believe marriage is less important than it was for previous generations. Although, we still do carry some old-school values, with 43% believing children should come after marriage.
But those eternal kidults- otherwise known as millennials- are the least keen to settle down, citing 36 as the best age for weddings, and 37 for starting a family.
eharmony’s relationship expert, Sharon Draper talks us through their latest research on Australians’ attitudes to love and marriage, and when we reach key relationship milestones.
Ideal ages for love, marriage, and kids
New data suggests that for most Aussies their twenties are a time of carefree dating and flings. In fact, of over 2,000 Aussies surveyed, the average age seen to be perfect to get into the first serious relationship was 27.
However, this doesn’t leave much time for settling down, as the group (on average) hope to have met their life partner by 31. This is also deemed the correct age to move in together and get engaged, according to those surveyed.
By age 33, marriage is on the cards; and age 34 is when most Aussies believe it’s time to start a family, and buy a property together.
What’s more, contrary to popular perception, men and women do not differ greatly in their preferred age for settling down. Women typically want to walk down the aisle at age 32, and start trying for a family soon after. Whereas, the average man wanting opts to be married by age 35, with kids a year later.
“It appears that both men and women have a ‘biological clock’ when it comes to settling down,” says Sharon, “We should do away with old stereotypes which suggests it’s only females who yearn to start families in their thirties. Regardless of gender, most people want to have a child when they have a good job and home sorted, whilst not letting these choices slide into their forties.”
However, baby boomers (born 1946-1964) and millennials (1981-1996) have a different take on the perfect age for marriage and kids – boomers believe 30 is the ideal age to be married, with kids at 31, while millennials would prefer to wait, with marriage at age 36 and kids at a relatively late age of 37.
“It’s noteworthy that millennials deem 37 the right age for having kids when we know female fertility starts to decline at 35,” says Sharon. “On the other hand, these couples are more likely to be financially stable, and mature enough to weather all sorts of challenges together.”
Relationship Milestones
Kissing with confidence
There’s nothing like a kiss to seal the deal when it comes to romance, with one in three singles wanting to lock lips on a first date, according to eharmony research. “The fact that one in three dates is likely to end in a kiss is a great sign,” says Sharon. “This contradicts the notion that chemistry is an elusive factor in online dating. I’d say patience and persistence pay off.”
Getting naked for the first time
Getting hot under the sheets is also high on the agenda for many, with more than one third (34%) keen to have sex within the first month of dating. A slightly more conservative one in four Aussies (26%) prefer to delay disrobing to the first three months of dating. Meanwhile, almost one in ten very patient Aussies(8%) are actually happy to wait until they are married.
“When to have sex is an extremely individual choice,” says Sharon, “Whether you wait one week or several months, just make sure you do what feels right for you and don’t allow yourself to be pressurised. Sex is a powerful dynamic that can really intensify
relationships. During those early days, it’s often a key decider on whether someone is a keeper, or it’s time to move on.”
Saying I love you
Just over one in ten (12%) of lovestruck Aussies say ‘I love you’ within the first month. A third drop the ‘L Bomb’ within three months of meeting someone, but a more cautious third of Aussies take as long as six months to do so.
“Beyond love, the big thing to remember is that for a relationship to survive long term you ideally need to share core values and personality traits,” says Sharon. “That’s why, at eharmony, compatibility lies at the heart of all our matching.”
“Facebook official”
From a social media point of view, being ‘Facebook official’ is important to get sorted within the first month for one in 10 Aussies, while a third (30%) will update their status in the first three months, and another quarter (21%) will change their profile status in the first six months of dating.
Meeting the parents
And more than three quarters(76%) will bring their partner home to meet their family within the first six months of dating, while 1 in 10 (8%) will take a year or longer to have their love come home to meet the parents.
“Meeting the parents is a major milestone for most couples and can be nerve wracking,” says Sharon. “Remember it’s important to be yourself and not feel you need to overly win people over. Be kind and remember, easy does it.”
For more information about eharmony or to sign up, visit eharmony.com.au
