Some people could be forgiven for assuming that, given we are all constantly communicating via video call, that the leap to video dating would be an easy step. But, they’d be wrong! Right?
Apart from the fact that your boss will (probably) not be in attendance on your date, there are a number of other differences between work-based video calls and flirt-based video calls. Perhaps the biggest difference is that the emotional stakes are so much higher in the dating world. And what does it take to show up as our best selves when the stakes are high?
Confidence.
According to recent eharmony research, 64% of Aussies say they would feel better about their dating life if only they were more confident.
The kicker here is that lockdown has robbed many singles of their usual confidence building outlets – the gym, catch-ups with mates, trying new experiences, and this has led to a Crisis Of Confidence.
So, how can you boost your confidence and make the most of eharmony’s video date feature?
Firstly, build your confidence:
- Reset Your Mindset – Treat the lockdown experience as your opportunity to draw a line in the sand and say “this is a new beginning in my dating life”. You can refer to your pre-Covid and post-Covid dating habits and make the choice to do things differently in your next chapter. Got baggage? Great, leave it behind. Constantly date the same people in different clothing? Fantastic, that’s an old habit you’ll leave in the pre-Covid dating pile. Scared of commitment? Ok, that was the old you, time for a reset.
- Play To Your Strengths – I recommend you come up with 3 of your strengths to keep top of mind; one physical characteristic (which part of your body do you like? Find ways to highlight this and detract from the parts you’re not so happy with); one character strength (Are you kind? Funny? Smart? Think of your favourite story about yourself that highlights this strength); and one skill-based strength (What are you good at and proud of?). If you get stuck, ask your close friends to each name one of your strengths and give you an example of how you demonstrate it.
And then, as you prepare for your next video date:
- Prepare yourself emotionally – remember your post-Covid dating mindset, your top 3 strengths and your clear vision for what you want. Develop some key words or a mantra and write them on a post-it note next to your phone or laptop before you connect the video session.
- Prepare your conversation – have a few stories in your memory bank, stories that highlight your best qualities (or strengths). Develop a set of open-ended questions to get your date talking about themselves, this is a great way to learn about them and their values.
- Prepare yourself practically – make sure you set up your device so that the camera is at your eye level, face the light source (don’t have the light behind you as it will turn you into a silhouette), ensure no interruptions from other apps or programs and take care to set up your background.
