October 22, 2020
3 mins read

When Love Is Not Enough: How To Recognize It’s Time To Break Up 

There is a certain naivete that people have when going into a relationship. Some of us fall prey to the idealistic notions of what a relationship should be like. We begin this journey with someone who we think is never going to change or that this path will last forever. This is not to say that romantic partnerships don’t last, but there will be challenges along the way that will interfere with the harmony and the balance that the couple shares. There are many essential aspects to consider if you’re sharing your life with another person, and one of them is that people grow and change for better or worse. The person who you fell in love with is going to change, and that’s okay because that’s normal. However, it’s also vital that both of you still love and accept one another after the transformation. The thing is that people don’t always change for the better and sometimes the challenges are just too tricky to deal with. This heaviness takes a toll on the relationship and it inevitably causes it to end. 

If this is the case, it shouldn’t be something to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. It can be hard to see the light or to make the decision to call things off, especially when there are children involved. But often it does mean that you and your partner are better and happier people apart, which ultimately is a better home environment for your kids. If you do need some advice on next steps when it comes to divorce or family law, then professional Family Lawyers can give you some solid advice. However, getting to this stage can often feel like a huge step, and ultimately you need to understand where you are in terms of your relationship.

If you’re wondering whether the sun’s setting on your relationship or not, some signs could be an indicator of what’s yet to come.

Lack of Support

Usually, when a relationship is in its last stages, partners stop showing any kind of support or encouragement to one another. If you’re in that part of the relationship, then you’re probably met with indifference and general coldness. Your partner no longer cares about your place in your journey, achievements, the good days, the bad ones, or anything related to your life. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t love you anymore, but it reflects on their disinterest, which demonstrates the kind of relationship that you’re both in right now. It could also be an indicator of your disconnection or the fact that you outgrew each other and it’s time to move on.

Obligation

We’re usually invested in our partner’s life just as much as we are in ours. Everything that they do deserves to be celebrated no matter how big or small in our eyes. This is usually how it goes when there is genuine love and support in the relationship. However, if you’re finding yourself feeling pressured, obligated, or even stressed about meeting your partner’s wants and needs, then something’s off. You might want to dig deeper and find out what’s causing this. You can seek help from research, therapist, or even your partner. Just know that normally, couples don’t feel obligated to do things for one another when they’re in a healthy state of mind and are okay enough to nurture their connection.

Third-Party

One of the most obvious, yet inconspicuous signs that you might experience is when you or your partner replace each other with another person. This doesn’t always happen blatantly and it doesn’t mean that someone is cheating on the other person. However, it could take form in that friend who you talk to about everything that’s going on in your life instead of your partner. If you and your partner are seeking warmth, support, love, or care from someone else, then that tells you that there’s a problem that needs to be addressed. 

Abuse 

When people talk about abuse, we usually think of the most obvious form of it, which is physical abuse. However, your partner doesn’t need to physically hurt you for the relationship to be labeled as abusive. There are other kinds of it, such as emotional, psychological, sexual abuse, and so much more. If you’ve noticed that lately your partner has been gaslighting you or trying to manipulate you in any form that counts as emotional abuse. You shouldn’t stay in a relationship with this amount of toxicity and you don’t deserve to settle for less. One more thing to note is that we don’t always know that we’re being manipulated right when it’s happening to us, so when it’s important that you address it with yourself and your partner after your realization. If this has been an ongoing pattern in your romantic life, then consider going to therapy to discuss this in detail.  

Relationships are complicated and they’re not exactly the easiest things to deal with. We strive to attain a deep connection with someone; we put so much of our love and energy into it. It eventually becomes impossible to consider that one day this connection might weaken, even when the signs are right in front of us. So if you feel like something has been off about your relationship, then you need to ask yourself whether your partner is showing genuine support or not, are you still connected, and most importantly, are you being subjected to any kind of abuse. You don’t need to tolerate a relationship that is threatening or not meeting your needs, so watch out for these signs because they might be signaling that it’s time to break things off. 

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