Romantic movies have conditioned us to think that proposals should be a surprise. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with suddenly getting down on one knee and popping the big question, it’s also important that you consider whether your partner is actually ready to take that giant leap towards happily ever after.
In fact, renowned relationship coach Toni Coleman advises couples to discuss marriage before getting engaged to ensure that both parties are ready for that level of commitment. In this way, you and your partner can have a conversation about what you expect from one another and how you want the relationship to proceed. This doesn’t just save you from humiliation in case your partner turns you down, but it also guarantees a more harmonious marriage between you and your significant other.
Before shopping for a sapphire engagement ring that will symbolise the next level in your relationship, you first need to know if the two of you are on the same page. Here’s a helpful guide on how you can bring up the topic of marriage without putting a wedge between you and your partner.
Talk about it in private.
It can be a lot easier to talk to your partner about sensitive topics such as marriage if there aren’t any other people present in the room. By talking in private, you can also take your time conversing and keep distractions to a minimum. In addition, this allows both of you to express your opinions and concerns about marriage freely.
Keep it casual and conversational.
The topic of marriage might be a serious subject, but this doesn’t mean that the conversation leading to it must be kept serious and tense. In fact, it will be a lot easier to discuss marriage if you start by casually talking about related things first before getting to the main point of the marriage counseling near me conversation.
Phrase your sentences and questions properly.
To lift the pressure of having to talk about a serious matter, it’s important that you phrase your statements and queries in a manner that doesn’t put your partner in a hot seat. Instead of carelessly asking “can we get married anytime soon?”, it might be better to say something like “I like the idea of settling down with someone, but I want to do it when we’re both ready. How about you?”
Mind the mood before you talk.
Don’t broach the topic of marriage when one of you is under a lot of stress. Remember that you need a clear, calm mind for a conversation that will likely be emotionally charged. Making sure that you and your partner are ready to engage emotionally will go a long way in preventing or resolving conflicts, disagreements, or arguments that may arise.
Be accepting and understanding.
The most important thing to consider before having a conversation about marriage is the possibility of your partner saying no. Although it’s good to hope for the best, you must also prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario.
More importantly, you must respect your significant other’s opinion on the matter. If your partner isn’t ready for that kind of commitment yet, you have to accept that. Marriage, after all, shouldn’t be treated as an ultimatum. And just because your partner said no doesn’t mean you’ll never get married. Besides, this is the best time to address concerns and issues that are hindering both of you from taking the relationship to the next level.
Indeed, starting a conversation about marriage can be nerve-wracking. Not knowing whether your partner is up for it or not makes the experience all the more terrifying. However, as long as you keep these tips in mind, you’ll find it easier to start conversing with your partner about where you want your relationship to go.