If “…and they all lived happily ever after” didn’t work in your case, there is nothing to agonize over. Of course, when you were getting married, you didn’t think that it would eventually get to divorce. Yet here you are, saying goodbye to your relationship.
But this process doesn’t have to feel like going through hell.
To start the divorce process healthy and with peace of mind, you will have to take care of a few things in advance. Planning is essential to getting through this challenging time without major problems.
The worst part of getting a divorce is that everything is moving very fast, and there is a lot of emotion involved. Try to calm the course of events a bit and put the situation into perspective. It may turn out that you will need some advice that will allow you to enjoy life even during such an unpleasant situation. Reaching out to an experienced lawyer who specializes in divorce law can provide much-needed clarity during this emotional time.
Below, we present you with some solutions, which will help you deal with this situation better:
1. Get an Attorney
Finding a good attorney may help you get rid of many unnecessary worries during the divorce process. It will save you some headaches, as you will be certain that a professional works on your behalf. Consider choosing an attorney with a few years of experience in the field of divorce and family law. You will get help in getting a divorce certificate and decree if you have no idea how to start collecting necessary documents.
2. Get the Emotional Support
Even if the relationship wasn’t the best one at the end, and you don’t imagine being with your partner any longer, everyone has some pleasant memories that come back when you least expect them. Those moments may be harsh, and you may need some emotional support. Try to contact a therapist that will help you cope with whatever you’re dealing with right now. It is even more important if you relationship was in any way toxic or abusive.
3. Start Saving Money
You will need some extra money to pay for your attorney. Start saving it beforehand so you won’t stress out about it later. Living alone after a divorce is also more expensive than sharing the costs between two people – that’s why you will need to have your financial situation sorted out to afford a dignified life.
4. Think About the Future of Your Children
Divorce is going to be a big deal for your children. But don’t let them think that their plans are also ruined along with your relationship. Think about how to arrange everything so that they can still attend their current school. Also, provide them with professional psychological care if you feel they need it.
5. Talk to Your Children
Don’t leave your kids behind, and don’t think they shouldn’t be a part of the process. You are building your new life along with your children, so they should be included. If you are moving to another house, let them arrange their own rooms. Show them that their opinion matters to you.
6. Arrange a Custody Schedule
While considering where you will live and where your children will be going to school, you need to work out how you will share custody. It is important to determine whether the children will be with you every other weekend, or whether each Tuesday should be at your ex-spouse’s.
7. Use Mediators
Mediators could be useful when arranging custody and if you haven’t reached an agreement with your ex-partner. Another person may bring some authority to the conversation, helping you both achieve a healthy compromise.
8. Housing Arrangements
Divorce involves one of you moving out of your shared home. If you want to move out, make a list of the things you will take with you. You probably bought many things together, so share this list with your ex and together decide who will take which items. Also, prepare the appropriate transport that will take your things elsewhere. A popular option is to contact a van hire company to pack all of your things up and move them out in one go. This will save you having to make multiple trips and potentially steer you away from another argument, as well as reduce your overall stress associated with moving.
9. Change Your Passwords
In a long relationship, personal information, such as bank account passwords, are often shared. However, you will no longer be married, and it would be better if sensitive data was to become private. Change the passwords used for your bank and other accounts.
10. Use It as a Learning Experience
A divorce is always difficult and emotionally challenging, but you can actually get something good and valuable out of this situation. Get a piece of paper and write down everything that you won’t tolerate in your future relationship. Also, write down what you liked and what you are still looking for in a life partner. It will help you determine your needs and avoid future disappointments.
Conclusion
A collaborative approach during a divorce is essential. But you will be able to do it only if your state of mind is calm and ready to work together with your ex to get the best deal for you and your kids.
You have the power to make the divorce not the absolute worst experience of your life. It is enough to plan a bit and get all the necessary help to have everyone get through the process less painfully.
@Paula Sieracka
