For these Shopify Plus merchants, ‘mums living their best lives’ doesn’t mean everything is perfect, and it doesn’t mean having to choose between being a mum and working. For these six inspiring women, it means constantly challenging themselves and prioritising their happiness – no matter what it might look like.
For Phoebe Bell, Owner of Sage x Clare, living her best life means acknowledging ‘having it all’ is possible, but it takes significant re-framing of what ‘all’ actually means.
“When I first became a mum, I wanted to work like I didn’t have a baby and parent like I didn’t work. I felt a great pressure to be everything all the time – but the continuous striving to be a Superwoman ultimately led me to fall in a heap! I now have significant help in running the house, a wonderful team who can take the reins if I’m not around, a husband who fully supports equality in raising our children, and my weeks are now scheduled to include at least one work day off with my kids,” she says.
“This is ‘having it all’ for me, but it took a lot of introspection and honesty from me to first admit that if I wanted it all, I couldn’t be doing it all, as well as many conversations with my family and husband on how we could achieve this.”
Some of the biggest forces behind persistent gender gaps are harmful social norms, bias and stereotypes that limit expectations of what women can or should do, or what they should look like, says Stevie Angel, Founder of Active Truth.
“These barriers discriminate against women and girls. We are bombarded with them everywhere, everyday, and they are deeply ingrained in our society. Central to Active Truth’s mission is to challenge stereotypes and bias around body image to forge positive visibility for all women. We want every woman to look to Active Truth and see someone like her – happy, active, looking and feeling amazing in her activewear. Because you can’t be what you can’t see,” she says.
Three rewarding aspects of being a working mum/entrepreneur are flexible working conditions, control over her future, and a sense of purpose, she says
“I think it’s essential to think about what is important to you and direct your energy, time and resources towards those things and ignore the rest (as much as you can — unfortunately laundry and school lunches still have to be done!). In that sense I think you can have your “all” by keeping in check with your personal priorities. But I don’t think that it is easy when you often have society/other people/your own expectations telling you that you should be having things that actually don’t bring you happiness and fulfillment.”
Sophie Kovic, Founder of Seed & Sprout, says nothing external will ever make you happy. To live your best life, mums must remember to prioritise themselves.
“It’s also about challenging oneself – why we limit and seperate ourselves from our innate and unique power. Nothing external will ever make you happy, so make sure that you prioritise your relationship with yourself and those around you, as well as your professional pursuits.
“My entire management team is female, including the CEO. Hire women. Promote women. Educate and reward women. Let them get the skills and experience to be confident in what they do.”
Alex Fevola, Founder of Runway Room, loves having her own business, despite the challenges it inherently contains.
“Being a Mum and having my own business has been amazing. Challenging in some ways, but the flexibility of being my own boss has been invaluable. I think being passionate and fulfilled in my professional life has helped me be a better mum and good role model for my daughters,” she says.
“In the future I really hope the question ‘can women have it all’ isn’t even asked of women anymore, and only asked of ‘parents’ or ‘caregivers’. It is such a sexist view to assume that women do all the caregiving, housework etc. I think if you’re in an equal relationship and you and your partner share the household duties and childcare equally, then you can both have a career, also.
“Don’t worry about being ‘liked’ or ‘popular’. Worry about being respected, inspiring to others and a genuine leader. As a woman, people see leadership differently. I felt I had to tippytoe around things that perhaps a man wouldn’t. Now I don’t run my business like that, I make decisions unapologetically, because I know what’s best for the business, I have confidence in my leadership now, that I didn’t have in the beginning.”
“Over the past 30 years, I have seen the establishment change, and now I have learned that to move forward, I need to challenge myself,” says Esme Pfaff, Owner of Littlelamb Nappies.
“Ironically, it is not the establishment preventing me from starting my next project, it is a lack of belief in my abilities. It is not other people getting in the way of me achieving my goals, it is merely my inability to communicate my vision with the team. It is not my job making me put on weight, it is me not prioritising my food and exercise.
“When picking that fight, look inside and see what needs challenging and learn to overcome that. It doesn’t have to be a herculean world-changing task, rather it can be a dream, a goal, a desire. Break that down into achievable steps, with documented progress deadlines that propel you towards that goal. In time, you will see the kind of results that women have used to topple the establishment and pave the way for women to become entrepreneurs today.”
Hayley Worley, Founder of The Sheet Society, says coming home to kids makes you realise most things you’ve spent the day stressing out over just really don’t matter in the bigger picture.
“A delivery might have been late, or a marketing campaign didn’t perform like expected, but as long as you’re happy and healthy that’s all that matters.
“I’ve found that switching to a completely different way of life at home as opposed to when I’m in the office really helps me switch off and recharge. You’re not your best when you work 24/7 so being forced to switch off helps me better feel refreshed to tackle the next day.
“Learning how to juggle and prioritise has been the biggest skill that’s come out of raising a family and a business at the same time. Whilst it often feels like I’m just treading water at both jobs, it’s so rewarding to have both running side by side.”
