There comes a point when, in any relationship, that you’ve been doing your best to strengthen it, compromise, and go to great lengths to ensure that you are doing everything you can. But there comes a time when you may have to throw in the towel. What happens when you have children? Being a couple, whether you have been married for a long time, or in a long term relationship, has a great impact on the children. As such, what are the best ways to stay civil, and even be friends after the break-up?
Don’t Let The Legalities Get In The Way
Yes, it is easier said than done. But when you bring people like child custody lawyers into the mix, it could very well be an essential part, at least to get you both listening to each other. It’s important that you focus on the rules, and not break them, but at the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should both argue in front of the children. It’s important that these rules be followed, so you can stick to some sort of pattern which benefits the children.
Establish The Boundaries
Boundaries a crucial, whether they are enforced by lawyers from a child custody law firm or yourselves . Ultimately, you’ve got to focus, the children need a balance between the two of you. As such, respecting as boundaries, whether it’s in terms of the calendar, or your personal boundaries, is crucial. This also helps in terms of your emotions. For example, how would you feel if you found out the other person has started dating? Do you really want to know who they are dating, and get into the nitty-gritty details? Ultimately, we have our own lives to lead, and our own personal choices, but as long as they don’t impact the children, that is the best bet.
Remove Your Expectations
You spend a long time together in a very intimate sense, and going from partners to friends is a major shift. If you can remove your own expectations of the relationship, and bridge those gaps, you’ve got to change your responsibilities to each other. If you remove your expectations, this means that you can focus on making it work for the most important people in this equation, the children, as this can take a long time to happen and give yourself that breathing space.
Give Yourself Time To Process Everything
You could work incredibly hard to ensure that it benefits the children, but sometimes these things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. You may not work as friends, and as such, it has to be all about being civil. But you have to give yourself that opportunity to process all the information, especially if you’ve gone from being in a relationship to divorced or broken up quickly. We have to take time to grieve these relationships, and once we do that, we understand how we can best move on. It’s never an easy thing; a divorce or break up is considered one of the most stressful things, and if you are doing you’re at most to make it work for the children, sometimes you can put everything above your own sanity. Ensure that you are processing information as well.
