According to relationship mentor, psychologist and matchmaker, Yvonne Allen, “instant physical attraction isn’t a reliable predictor for the potential for lasting love.”
“These days millions of singles of all ages scroll through pages of photos on online dating sites, looking to meet that special someone,” Yvonne said.
“Most online dating apps are geared around the concept of ‘instant attraction’: if you like what you see, you can pursue your newfound amour. If you don’t, swipe left and scroll on.
“While a photo may attract you to initiate contact, it can’t tell you how compatible you’ll be. Whether they’ll get along with your friends, whether they’ll want kids, whether they wash their feet in the sink – you know, the essentials!
“If you’re only looking for something short term, then apps may be the way to go.
“If you are looking for a long-lasting and meaningful relationship, you need to dig deeper, you need to make conscious choices about the sort of site you’re on.
“And more importantly, you need to know what really matters to you when it comes to a potential partner and a relationship.”
While today’s technology has made it possible to connect almost instantly online, Yvonne believes we live in what is perhaps the loneliest era since the dawn of humankind.
Yvonne says, ”that when she started her consultancy in 1976, if you were a woman and still single at 30 you were likely to think you were left on the shelf!”
“Now days our ever-growing population is being born into a world of computers and smartphones: tools that promise connectivity but all too often deliver disengagement and solitude,” Yvonne added.
“Given the pressures and expectations of today’s society, many of us have lost the sense of getting to really know someone and being known, and these pressures can make us feel inadequate.
“So many people today are approaching relationships with a ‘wish list’ of expectations that don’t mesh with reality.
“It is one thing to have a list – another to look at that list and ask the most important question: why is this person I seek looking for me.
“When looking for a partner, the search for a solid relationship starts not on a screen, but inside yourself.
“You need to think about who you are, identify what really matters to you when it comes to a partner and a relationship, why you are looking for love, and what may be getting in your way.
“Once you understand what you want to be appreciated for, the next step is to show it. You can put yourself out there on the web with more confidence once you are more aware of what you have to offer in a relationship.”
Since 1976, Yvonne Allen and Associates has helped join the dots for thousands of discerning singles wanting to meet that special someone. Over the many years, her boutique consultancy has catered for educated, discerning men and women. The majority these days are 35 plus, successful, have demanding careers and appreciate that Yvonne’s consultants do the searching and they enjoy the outcomes.
“Many of our clients who have met their partner have said that they would not have chosen to meet each other on the basis of photos,” Yvonne said.
“Explosive chemistry and instant attraction can be fun, but is unlikely to last.
”We encourage friendship, one of life’s great pleasures, and from there being open to more. That way, if and when your bodies get together, you have so much more to say.
“Love founded on compatibility and commitment can weather the ups and downs of life and deepen with each passing year.”
For more information, visit www.yvonneallen.com.au.
