Going through a divorce can feel lonely. If you’ve been struggling during your divorce, the great news is that there are licensed therapists out there who can meet with you in person or virtually to help you get through the hardest days. From being there to help you as you vent frustrations to acting as a mediator and helping you to set new goals for the future, a therapist could make a big difference in how you get through your divorce. If you’ve been wondering about ways a therapist might be able to help you cope during these uncertain times in your personal life, read on.
Venting Frustrations
Divorce is never easy. It’s totally normal to get frustrated about your relationship issues during the divorce process. For this reason, many people seek help from a clinical psychologist in hopes that psychotherapy will give them a safe place to vent their frustrations.
Mental health professionals understand that juggling court orders, custody arrangements, and trying to figure out what’s in the best interest of the children isn’t easy. They can offer counseling for you or your adolescent child during these difficult times. Anything you say to a therapist, as long as it isn’t a plan to harm yourself or others, is entirely confidential. Using a counselor as a nonjudgmental ear as you struggle with a difficult time is a great way to be a better version of yourself with the people you love.
Perhaps you live in New York City and have already done a Google search for “NYC therapists.” While you wait for your first session with fully trained therapists who can help in a variety of ways, it’s a good idea to write down a list of things you hope to accomplish in therapy. The right therapist for you will listen patiently and be transparent about what you may or may not be able to accomplish in therapy.
Reaching Agreements and Acceptance
A therapist can give you tools to better communicate with your ex-partner. For example, if you and your former spouse are currently amending custody agreements for your child’s best interest, a therapist can practice ways to communicate your concerns about life transitions for your child in a way your former partner might be able to receive it without conflict. Whether the issue at hand is a visitation schedule or the division of property, a therapist can help you practice approaching your ex in a non-confrontational way.
Do you ever wonder when the pain will end? This is quite common during divorce. The good news is that your struggle is only temporary and time passing will help. Another reason to see a therapist as you navigate a divorce is that they can help you come to terms with your patterns, relationship problems, and the grief of a relationship loss. Through a combination of empathy and treatment modalities, they’ll be able to help you reach a stage of acceptance faster than you might have accomplished on your own.
Planning for the Future
One of the best reasons to hire a therapist during divorce is that they will help you move past your pain and encourage you to start planning for the future. Instead of staying stuck in the past or worried about the disruptions of the present, a therapist will help push you forward into making dreams and goals.
Do you miss your old version of yourself? Maybe you were in school before your marriage and put your education on hold for your spouse’s career. With therapy, you could soon find yourself Googling ‘womens white blouse‘ for that grad school interview. Without the obstacles of a spouse and their career to deter you, a therapist will help you to see that new challenges are waiting for you now and that there are new ways to conquer them.
Building Confidence and Boundaries
Relationships can be tricky. Even during the most difficult divorces, it’s not uncommon for either party to have doubts. A therapist can give you tools for setting healthy boundaries. If you’re someone who suffers from low self-esteem and your estranged spouse keeps changing their mind, a trained clinician can show you how to love yourself and make healthy choices.
Having trouble being kind to yourself? You aren’t alone. Self-love is a skill many people struggle with in the best of times. It can be even harder for a person going through a divorce to treat themselves right. A good therapist will remind you of your value and encourage a regular routine of self-care that will make you not only more confident, but happier.
At the end of the day, your counselor can’t go through your divorce for you. However, they can be there to listen to you every step of the way. Instead of suffering alone, why not reach out to a therapist to help you untangle the pain, anger, hurt, grief, and even relief you feel around your divorce. You deserve it, and the truth is that hiring a therapist to help you cope will increase your odds of finding a happier future sooner.
