Easier said than done, isn’t it?
To look into the mirror and simply…smile. Instead of nitpicking over your crooked teeth, your thick waist, your thinning hair, your wrinkles, your big nose, your small breasts. Instead of immediately noticing the flaw, how often do you look at the mirror and smile, and feel completely confident?
In today’s culture, this kind of thing is no small feat. We’re surrounded by advertising and all sorts of media outlets that push a very singular, limiting idea of what “beautiful” is, and if you don’t fit that narrow standard, it’s not very easy to feel good in your own skin. So, how can we fight that? How can we look into the mirror and finally face it with confidence?
Start By Limiting TME – Toxic Media Exposure
Celebrity gossip might seem like a harmless way to kill some time, but after seeing countless images of this singer being shamed for showing up at the beach with cellulite, and that actress “letting herself go” because she gained weight after having a child, you start subconsciously changing your own thought patterns. From overly sexualized advertising, to tabloid stories, to airbrushed magazines trying to sell you products, being surrounded by these things can make you feel inadequate for no reason whatsoever. While you can’t control everything you come in contact with, you can damn well make sure you recognize it when it appears. Knowing and understanding that these practices are harmful can help you react to them better.
Be Your Own Kind Of Beautiful
From “wear more makeup, you look sick,” to “stop wearing makeup, you look unnatural”, people always have ideas on how you’re supposed to look and what you’re supposed to do. But in truth, beauty is a subjective thing and conforming to someone else’s standard of what’s considered attractive is only going to make you miserable. Not to mention the fact that there’s just no pleasing people and that someone will always have negative things to say about your choices.
The gist of it is this: pick your own version of what’s pretty. From wearing lipstick to cutting your hair short, what you do with your own body is up to you. Do you want to change something about yourself? Then do it. Going to a salon for a manicure is not all that different from visiting a cosmetic surgery clinic, so make sure that no matter what you do, it’s your own choice and that it’s making you happy. No one else matters.
Let me reinforce that statement by admitting here that I have been to such a clinic, and that I have had “my lips done”, to put it crudely. I’ve never been happy with my upper lip, and it got to a point I was so insecure about it I decided to change something. I did them here, and it is still one of the best decisions I made. I can now completely truthfully and confidently say – yes, I’ve had them done, and I am better for it. Because I did it for myself and the person staring back from the mirror, not society at large.
Create A Positive Environment
Someone’s chipped nails or bad hair dye don’t make them a bad person, and instead of envying beautiful people and pitying the ones you think are lacking, try to see them more clearly. We’re sometimes very quick to judge others based on their appearance, and then we get surprised when someone does the same thing to us. Well, take a step in the right direction. Start complimenting people, start smiling at them more. Figure out if there’s more to them than meets the eye, be kind. If we want to make a change, we have to start from ourselves and the way we see and treat the world.
Train Your Thoughts
Thought patterns are usually something we learn through life. We’ve learned to overthink things and let our insecurity get the best of us, so to defeat it we must retrain our mind. Basically, when a negative thought rears its ugly head, learn to cut it down at the root. Beating yourself up over a mistake or feeling inadequate has never really gotten you anywhere, has it? It’s only making you sad and preventing you from finding an actual solution. So, tell those ugly thoughts to go jump off a cliff, you’re far too fabulous to pay them any heed.
To face the mirror means to face your own insecurities and to accept yourself the way you are. It means deciding what’s beautiful and relevant all on your own without anyone bullying you into conforming to a certain standard. It means being proud of yourself and smiling at the reflection you see.
This is a guest post from Rebecca Brown, who blogs at Rough Draft.
