Typically, children do not inherently know how to handle their emotions without guidance.
A child might be incredibly overwhelmed with emotion and what’s worse, they don’t know what to do about it. They might throw a tantrum, act out, or behave poorly until they have been consoled.
It can be difficult to find the right way to deescalate the situation, but it is incredibly important.
If you are struggling to teach your child how to manage their anger, or if you have never learned proper ways to manage your own anger, consider reaching out to a professional at BetterHelp. The counselors at BetterHelp are trained to help you navigate your emotional and mental wellbeing.
How Should My Child Express Anger?
You might be unsure whether or not the way in which your child is expressing anger is healthy.
For example, if your child throws a temper tantrum every once in a while, it might not seem drastic enough to be considered problematic.
On the flip side, your child might be acting out far too frequently and you have chosen to ignore it because you feel too unprepared.
The appropriate behavior of a child really depends in part on age. Babies and toddlers are more likely to behave in emotionally sporadic ways because they do not know how to ask for what they want.
Likewise, they are constantly being introduced to new people, new environments, and new activities, so it can be an overwhelming time.
Older toddlers and young children between the ages of four and six years tend to hold onto some of these behaviors but often know better.
For example, your five-year-old likely knows that they cannot throw food on the ground when they do not want to eat it. But, perhaps they do so anyway.
Once the child knows they shouldn’t do something and they make a conscious choice to do it anyway, that’s when bad behavior can become a habit. At that age, they should be able to express frustration using their words.
Tips to Help
De-escalate Immediately
Some people are of the mindset that you should let a child “cry it out.” This is generally considered unreasonable.
When a child is in distress, they are looking for help. They do not know how to self-soothe naturally, and they will not be able to calm themselves down if they are too upset.
Don’t let it get too far, otherwise, they will forget why they were angry in the first place and you won’t be able to help resolve that problem.
Time Out
When your child behaves poorly and knows better, there need to be reasonable consequences in place. Taking a time out is a good way to hit the pause button and relinquish some of that frustration.
Play a Sport
Another good way to get the anger out is to go outside and run around. When a child learns how to channel their emotions into a more productive outlet, they can learn how to calm themselves down.
Begin by encouraging a walk around the block and then build up to a little playtime as a distraction, sure, but also as an outlet.
Write it Out
When a child needs time to find the words to express how they are feeling, give them the opportunity to put pen to paper. Encourage them to write their feelings down, read them outloud, and then encourage them to throw the paper away a few hours after settling down.
This can show them that addressing the feeling is equally as important as letting it go.
If your child is especially angry due to specific situational reasons, seek assistance from a professional counselor.
