I am an Instagrammer. I enjoy looking at *cough* stalking *cough* friends, acquaintances and people I have no relations with. I enjoy looking at the events and parties people go to. I love looking at selfies – bathroom, action-shot or my personal favourite where a passerby photo-bombs a selfie. I adore looking at what people have for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I have a penchant for coffee art and freshly baked cookies with the hashtags: #domesticgodess #cancook and #masterchef.
I look dumbly at my phone making ohh-ing and ahh-ing sounds, feeling awesome. Instagram validates my unhealthy eating habits and…
I rejoice!
BUT whenever I see #fitspo, #thinspo #cleaningeating or other related hashtags my face turns into this:
Then this:
This is because clean-eating, fitspo, thinspo and anything else associated with it all suck. Yes, it is admirable. Yes, it is healthy for you and your wellbeing. And yes, more and more people should be eating healthier. But let’s call out the “clean eating” and “fitspo” for what it is: horrible, time consuming, costly, unattractive, hungry and angry (or if you merge them together; hangry).
This is because…
1. I don’t want to live in a world without sugar.
Why on earth would anyone want to completely eradicate sugar from his or her diet? I’m sick of reading and seeing new diets and “healthy eating plans”.
We all know what ice cream is yes? So why? WHY?
2. I’m sick of seeing half-naked women everywhere.
Hashtags like #dreambod #perfbod #cleaneating #summerbody #thinspo and #fitspo are linked to women lounging around, with no more than underwear on. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY HAVEN’T EATEN FOR DAYS, HOW IS THAT HEALTH OR FITNESS?
3. “It makes me feel and look amazing”.
Okay, I get it. Everyone wants to look great semi-naked. Everyone wants to “hit up the beach” to show off their “summer bods”, and in the process get a scalding, blistering, peeling red-hot sunburn (but that is another rant).
So while everyone on their clean eating diet is doing this:
but really feeling like this, because they haven’t eaten real food for days:
I will be doing this:
and because my belly is full of yummy goodness I will be feeling like this:
4. Some days I don’t feel like eating a quinoa, kale and hemp salad. Some days I want to eat a whole block of Cadbury Marvelous Creations.
Sometimes quinoa, kale and hemp salad just makes you go:
and:
And finally, if I have to see another photo of a green smoothie or super-food salad with the above hashtags, I will do one of two things.
This: