The Seven Sins of Skincare

By Gaynor Alder

I must confess, I’ve been a bad girl, a very bad girl. During the festive season, I committed so many sins against my skin, that I’m surprised Santa even stopped by my house.

I’m not sure why they call Christmas and New Years a break, because it’s a continual round of parties and a non-stop “boozeathon”. Don’t get me wrong, it was fun, so much fun, but with all the excess of the past month, my skin is looking less than fabulous. No matter how much cream I slather on my face, there is no denying the trauma I have put it through.

Last night I reached for my post work wine, to discover in a manner like Bridget Jones, that it was in fact an empty from the night before (or was that the other one from the night before last?) Yes, to my horror, there were five empty bottles on my bench from the week, and I had to shake them all to find which bottle was actually the new one.

As a born again non-smoker, I am constantly tempted by other people smoking around me, and the Christmas and New Year’s festivities are particularly hard for me to maintain my restraint. When someone left a packet behind on the table, my willpower was tested. They began seducing me, calling my name, begging me to try them, until finally I could stand it no more, and succumbed to temptation. One wouldn’t hurt, or so I told myself (every born again non smoker’s famous last words), and before long, I was back to smoking like a chimney.

I hate cooking so much that when I recently house sat for my friend, and was faced with the actuality of chopping vegetables and using the chopping board for its intended purpose, I chose to live on 2 minute noodles for 2 weeks – Masterchef, am I not. Hardly the cornerstone of a nutritious diet, but when faced with the arduous task of preparing my own meal or choosing a nutritionally abhorrent meal, convenience will when every time.

I can’t tell you the last time I drank a glass of water, let alone the 2 litres of water a day we are meant to drink (something that plagues me, and beats up my conscious on a daily basis). Why don’t I do it? Well, if you want the truth, it’s because I’m lazy, that’s why. Whilst I have no trouble lifting the wine bottle and pouring another glass of vino, I am unable to muster the same level of enthusiasm to fill up my water bottle everyday.

I could feed an Italian family of four for a year with the amount of money I spend on skincare, yet, I neglect to put sunscreen on when I go out. Being an ex-Perthite, I should know better. Stepping out in the sun any longer for 10 minutes in the West will leave you with 3^rd degree burns. Even though I’m now a Melbournite, and the sun only makes an occasional guest appearance, I still need to protect myself against the damage of UV rays.

Like everyone I see virtuously hitting the pavement, I have vowed to start a health kick. Except unlike them, mine hasn’t started yet. Somehow, the bad habits I picked up in the spirit of “it’s Christmas” have continued into the New Year, and I’m now beating myself up with the inevitable underachiever’s guilt of breaking my new year’s resolutions in the first week.

Follow ‘Confessions of a Beauty Queen’ next fortnight, to restore serenity to thyself and thy skin, with the ‘Seven Heavenly Virtues of Skincare’.

Image credits 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.